Handicapping the 2008 Presidential Race
let's kick-off my renewed attempts at blogging by handicapping the GOP field of confirmed and potential candidates:
Duncan Hunter: is he still running? is he even alive? or did he fall into the black hole that swallows all former House reps?
Rep. Tommy Tancredo (R-CO): I'd rather listen to a Nickelback CD than a single-issue candidate; at least that record isn't broken.
Gov. Mike Huckabee (R-AR): dead in the water.
Rudy Giuliani: dead in the water.
Mitt Romney: dead in the water. and I bet you he's making up fundraising numbers. $6.5 million? you couldn't even pull that off if you campaigned illegally at the Mormon headquarters in Salt Lake City. oh wait, you already do.
Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE): people say he's positioning himself for a run by distancing himself from the escalation strategy. I say he's dead in the water.
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ): stomach-able. don't move to the right. please.
Sen. Sam Brownback (R-KS): this guy's a domestic version of Joe Biden, except with more hot gas than experience and in domestic rather than foreign affairs. dead in the water.
and the Democratic field?
Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE): be the best Joe Biden you can be, but it'll still unfortunately fall short. the problem when you position yourself as a foreign affairs expert is exactly that; you have no credibility when it comes to the "homeland."
Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL): the candidate I'm likeliest to get excited about so far. as for all of your haters who say he hasn't got enough experience, I encourage you to read the Metro's interview with former governor Doug Wilder (I'm trying to find it; check back later for a link).
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY): exciting in theory, at least if she stays on the left.
Jon Edwards: his progressive platform might make a difference if he could actually deliver the votes.
Gov. Bill Richardson (D-NM): kinduva pudgy, jolly fellow. if only he ran a state with real issues.
Tom Vilsack: like Richardson, just too bland of a candidate.
Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT): I'm only putting him on here because it's funny that he's even thinking of running. go get your eyebrows trimmed instead.
Duncan Hunter: is he still running? is he even alive? or did he fall into the black hole that swallows all former House reps?
Rep. Tommy Tancredo (R-CO): I'd rather listen to a Nickelback CD than a single-issue candidate; at least that record isn't broken.
Gov. Mike Huckabee (R-AR): dead in the water.
Rudy Giuliani: dead in the water.
Mitt Romney: dead in the water. and I bet you he's making up fundraising numbers. $6.5 million? you couldn't even pull that off if you campaigned illegally at the Mormon headquarters in Salt Lake City. oh wait, you already do.
Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE): people say he's positioning himself for a run by distancing himself from the escalation strategy. I say he's dead in the water.
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ): stomach-able. don't move to the right. please.
Sen. Sam Brownback (R-KS): this guy's a domestic version of Joe Biden, except with more hot gas than experience and in domestic rather than foreign affairs. dead in the water.
and the Democratic field?
Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE): be the best Joe Biden you can be, but it'll still unfortunately fall short. the problem when you position yourself as a foreign affairs expert is exactly that; you have no credibility when it comes to the "homeland."
Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL): the candidate I'm likeliest to get excited about so far. as for all of your haters who say he hasn't got enough experience, I encourage you to read the Metro's interview with former governor Doug Wilder (I'm trying to find it; check back later for a link).
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY): exciting in theory, at least if she stays on the left.
Jon Edwards: his progressive platform might make a difference if he could actually deliver the votes.
Gov. Bill Richardson (D-NM): kinduva pudgy, jolly fellow. if only he ran a state with real issues.
Tom Vilsack: like Richardson, just too bland of a candidate.
Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT): I'm only putting him on here because it's funny that he's even thinking of running. go get your eyebrows trimmed instead.
posted by K. Ian Shin | 8:15 AM
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